I just feel like crap overall. im not hungry but im definitely in a funk. I went to the store this morn to get a scale and like the display ones in the store were ALL FUCKED UP. excuse my language but one said I weighed 147.4 !!!!! I almost lost my shit in the store. so I bought one that seemed alright and when I got home, all naked, no food it said I weighed 138.6. so damn near 139. I gained like 3lbs from yesterday. fn great.
im kinda upset about it. and I just feel really down over all. I think cause I haven't been eating enough lately. I had to drive to school and back. its like 2hrs of driving, and I kept almost getting into accidents I couldn't pay attention at all. I just want the scale to go down down down down. is that so wrong? idk. I feel shitty. not hungry atm but my mom is on her way home for lunch shell probably insist on getting me something.
but like I know. if I start eating now, monday ill weigh 142 again. which is where I started last friday. so the choice is to either fast and lose weight or eat and definitely gain. so im fasting til monday. all I had today was a coffee.
wish me luck. xx
I want to be 130 by the first week of januaury. which is like 2weeks away.
yesterday I bought heels. I walk pretty good in them. the first week of january im gonna go to agencies. only the big ones. elite, ford, and wilhelmina. and then ill go from there. it sucks because I don't have any professional pictures. I just hope this girl is still willing to do them for free.
8lbs in two weeks. that seems easy enough.
wish me luck xx. I must stay strong and resist everything. im in such a lie around the house kind of mood. ugh.
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