Thursday, December 17, 2009

I had to fake eat dinner again.

and I swallowed two mouthfuls because my mom kept coming in my room and twice she came in before I could spit. im kind of sad. but idk. it was like 300cals at the most. with the carrot juice I ate and the coffee I had earlier.

300cals today isn't so bad. its not fasting but its not a complete lost. I don't want to weigh myself tomorrow but I know I will as soon as I wake up. about 12hours from right now. uuugh.

I weighed myself later today and I weighed 139....

im getting so pissed. if tomorrow it doesn't say 137 or less im gonna lose it. this morning it said 138.6 idk wtf that is when on tuesday I weighed like 135. but on a different scale. idk maybe I was fatter and didn't know cause of the scale. idk. I DON'T KNOW.

im sad. beautiful lunacy, my loneliness has been bugging me lately too. idk.. its hard.

I just want to go to sleep but I've got reading to do. a final tomorrow. wish me luck.

im definitely gonna weigh myself tomorrow. I hope its pleasant.


think thinn
xx

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