before i get into yesterday

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so yesterday. it started off fine i guess. but i kept craving bread. so i go 'okay ill only have one slice.' and i did. but i just hated the fact that i wanted it in the first place. it was like as soon as i awoke in the morning, just knowing it was there was just too much i had to have some. i did this exact same thing the day before. i craved bread, i gave myself a little, i walked away, and didnt gain. but wtf? was this going to happen everyday? i hated that i couldnt control my want of bread. i knew the next day i would want some and that my stomach would gnaw until i had some and that this would keep going on until the bread was gone and i wasnt having it. so i poured a tall glass of water and forced 10 slices down my throat in one sitting. 1200cals. and it was worth it bc now i HATE bread. ugh the thought is repulsing. i dont feel bad about this. this was not an out of control binge, this was a punishment. or a plan to get me to stop craving bread, and it worked. i didnt really gain either i just stayed the same. also i was beginning to plateu anyways. today i had a large breakfast. idk how many cals and i dont want to imagine.

i had:
almond croissant
oragina(the small one)
tall coffee
pineapple
watermelon

i feel alright though bc i had it this morn and I've been running around. also its 1am and im still not asleep so obviously it didnt do too much.

tomorrow i only want to eat bfast too just one thats a lot smaller. my mom is totally on to me and in the past i allowed her to guilt trip me into eating. not anymore. if she wants to make a plate for me like im 2yrs old im just gonna have to throw it away.

i hope everythings going good. I've got 2 more weeks of heavy restricting and i need your help.

Think Thinn,
strict chick